No ^lajjs Sxchanged^ 

1643 ^ ^ 

105 
1920 

Copy 1 



NXi^i-i^ 




i,-^iw5>-a: 



O'KEEFE'S CIRCUIT 

Price, 35 Cents 




WALTER HBAKER ^CO 
BOSTON 



^ 



^ 



Recent Plays That Have ** Gone Over the Top '' 



ilaUi 


Ftmalt Timt 


Priet 


Royaltj 


4 


5 


2 


hrs. 


25c 


Free 


12 


4 


I>^ 


« 


25c 


Special 


6 


3 


2 


« 


25c 


Free 


8 


3 


2 


" 


25c 


<t 


II 


7 


2 


" 


25c 


<t 


6 


3 


2 


" 


25c 


M 


6 


5 


2 


•" 


2SC 


« 


6 


5 


2 


<< 


25c 


« 


6 


5 


2 


« 


25c 


;^ 10.00 


6 


6 


-2 


« 


2SC 


Free 


4 


4 


»>^ 


« 


25c 


« 


6 


6 


2 


i< 


2SC 


M 


to 


6 


2 


« 


2SC 


M 


5 


5 


2 


« 


2SC 


tt 


5 


2 


Vz 


it 


'5C 


M 


t 


3 


-Vz 


« 


25c 


« 


4 


3 


2 


<i 


25c 


<( 


5 


II 


'^. 


<i 


25c 


« 


4 


2 


^ 


i< 


25c 


M 


3 


3 


% 


M 


>5c 


M 


lO 


II 


2 


« 


25c 


(1 


8 


9 


2 


« 


25c 


<> 


6 


8 


'X 


« 


25c 


M 


6 


12 


2 


M 


2SC 


« 


9 


9 


2 


(C 


25c 


« 


2 


5 


^ 


<I 


25c 


« 


I 


6 


;^ 


<« 


ISC 


« 


6 


9 


2 


« 


25c 


« 


4 


9 


2;i 


" 


25c 


^5.00 


7 


3 


'♦ 


25c 


Special 


4 


7 


2 


i< 


25c 


Free 


lO 


12 


2 


« 


25c 


« 


6 


5 


2 


It 


25c 


<i 


7 


4 


2 


« 


2SC 


« 


3 


2 


% 


<( 


15c 


<i 


8 


8 


^Vz 


« 


25c 


« 


3 


6 


iK 


« 


25c 


« 


6 


4 


^y. 


<t 


25c 


« 


3 


'4 


^Yz 


« 


25c 


« 


2 


7 


K 


(1 


25c 


« 


4 


lO 


2 


« 


25c 


'«« 


7 


4 


2 


« 


25c 


Special 


4 


4 


2^ 


« 


25c 


Free 


6 


3 


■2K 


<« 


25c 


« 


2 


12 


u 


« 


25c 


« 


6 


6 


2y^ 


« 


25c 


M 


6 


5 


2 


» 


25c 


« 


7 


5 


2^ 


<( 


25 c 


« 



The Adventures of Qrandpa 

The Air Spy 

The American Flag 

Captain Cranberry 

The College Chap 

The Colonel's Maid 

The Country Doctor 

Country Folks 

A Couple of Million 

Cranberry Corners 

Daddy 

The Deacon's Second Wife 

The District Attorney 

The Dutch Detective 

An Easy Mark 

Elizabeth's Young Mao 

The Elopement of Ellen 

Engaged by Wednesday 

Freddy Qoes to College 

A Full House 

The Girl From Upper Seven 

Grandma Qibbs of the Red Cross 

floneymoon Flats 

The Hoodoo 

The Hurdy Gurdy Girl 

Johnny's New Suit 

lUca) and Long Distance 

Lest — A Chaperon 

Tt i^ovlngCup 

f r.<; Man Who Went 

Mrs. Brlggs of the Poultry Yard 

Much Ado About Betty 

No Trespassing 

Our Wives 

Pa's New Housekeeper 

Professor Pepp 

The Rebellion of Mrs. Barclay 

A Regiment of Two 

Sally Lunn 

The Slacker 

Step Lively 

The Submarine Shell 

Teddy, or The Runaways 

The Time of His Life 

The Troubling of Bethesda Pool 

Valley Farm 

The Village School Ma'am 

WlUowdale 

For " special " royalties, see catalogue descriptions for 
detailed information. _ 

BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass* 



J 



O'Keefe's Circuit 

An Entertainment in One Scene 



By 

CAROLYN DRAPER GILPATRIC 

Author of "Patty Makes Things Hum," etc. 

NOTE 

The professional rights in this play are strictly reserved and 
application for the right to produce it should be made to the 
author in care of the publishers. Amateurs may produce it with- 
out payment of royalty on condition that the name of the author 
appears on all programmes and advertising issued in connection 
with such performances. 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1920 



O'Keefe's Circuit '^^^^^'V" 






The scene is a booking-office for talent to be sent out for all 
sorts of entertainments. To this office different artists (real and 
burlesque) come, to show what they can do before they are placed 
upon the books. The various' acts may be changed according to 
local talent, and many opportunities for local hits are presented in 
this arrangement. 

THE OFFICE FORCE 

Mr. O'Keefe . . . a pompous, showily-dressed man. 

Maggie Hennessy .... the stylish stenographer. 
Bill ......... the office boy. 

NOTE : — As O' Keefe is seated at his desk practically 
all the time, his part maybe read, if preferred. 

PART I 

MosE and Charley (^<7/(?^^rf) song and dance ... 2 males 

Minnehaha, an Indian dancer i female 

Spirituella, a fake spiritualistic medium l female 

An Old-Fashioned Girl, singing old-fashioned songs . i female 

During the intermission old songs may be sung 
by the audience. 

PART II 

1 2 rnslcs 
Deacon Small and his wife and Ruth Sandy-Knee • \ female 

A Reading or Monologue 1 female 

Carmencita, who sings in Spanish costume .... i female 
The Hippity-Hop Twins, man and girl in song and) 1 male 

> ^ dance j i female 

The Blow Brothers, a colored orchestra ^burlesque) . 6 or 8 males 




Copyright, 1920, by Carolyn Draper Git.patric 

Fret, for amateur petfortnance. Professional 

stage-rights reserved. 

'Q^ld 55286 



AW I6f920 



O'Keefe's Circuit 



PARTI 



SCENE. — Office setting with big desk littered with 
papers and a telephone on it; right of stage, small 
table with typewriter; left of stage, two or three plain 
chairs. 

(O'Keefe, a showily-dressed man, is seated at desk 
writing; Maggie, dressed ultra-fashionably, is typing 
loudly, chewing gum vigorously. Bill, a lazy, 
comedy character with bright red wig and red socks, 
is lounging against exit l., reading a newspaper. 
O'Keefe looks up from his writing, scowls at Bill 
and bangs his fist on the table. Bill jumps, almost 
tumbles over, and Maggie looks up languidly, keep- 
ing on with her typewriting.) 

O 'Keefe. Here, boy ! What in thunder are you do- 
ing to earn your six a week, I'd like to know? All you 
do is to read the sporting news. 

Bill. Oh, no, I'm reading "Hints to Young 
Mothers." 

O'Keefe. I'll mother you, you lazy good-for-nothing ! 
Put that paper down ! 

Bill (goes to desk). Have a heart, Boss, the Red Sox 
plays to-day. (Pulls up trousers, shows red socks.) 

O'Keefe. You impudent young puppy ! 

Bill. Have a heart, Boss — lemme off this after? 

O'Keefe. Let you off this afternoon? No! 

Bill. My grandmother 

O'Keefe. You've lost two grandmothers and three 
aunts since the series began. 

3 



4 o'keefe's circuit 

Bill. But honest, Boss 

O'Keefe. Sure, I'm an honest boss, but there's noth- 
ing doing to-day. (Turns to papers on desk, picks up 
envelope.) Here — take this out and mail it. That 
blamed old (insert organisation which presents this 
sketch — church or club) in (place of production) had 
some talent out there three months ago, and they haven't 
paid for it yet. (Hands envelope to boy.) They needn't 
think they can get by with it. 

Maggie. I got a friend in (place of production) she 
says (local) people are something fierce about paying 
their debts. She had a bet on with (local hit) about 
(something of local interest) and believe me, that guy 
hasn't paid up yet. 

(Returns to typewriter, chewing wildly.) 

O'Keefe (looks at Maggie; scowls). Miss Hennessy, 
will you take that spearmint out of your mouth? 

Maggie. Why should you object to an innocent rec- 
reation like that, Mr. O'Keefe? 

O'Keefe. Innocent recreation ! Here you are chew- 
ing away like a cow 

Maggie (rising haughtily). Mr. O'Keefe, you insult 
me! Why, every one chews gum now. Dr. (local 
dentist) told me to chew gum when I went to him a year 
ago to have my teeth cleaned. He said all the dentists 
advised chewing gum ; it saves brushing your teeth, and 
believe me, with tooth brushes so high 

O'Keefe. Well, I don't care what Dr. (local) says, 
you cut it out in here. 

Maggie. I refuse to be insulted by you. 

O'Keefe. Sit down ! (Bangs fist on table. Maggie 
sits hastily. Bill sits suddenly on floor, his mouth wide 
open; then rises awkwardly and goes to l. exit.) Now 
look here, Miss Hennessy, this is a high class booking 
office for the best talent going, and I'm not going to have 
any classy people like Mrs. (local) and Mrs. (local) com- 
ing in here to hire talent for their women's clubs 

Bill. Rolling-pins, did you say? 

O'Keefe. Get out! (Bill ducks out l. exit, then 



o'keefe's circuit 5 

comes in slyly; stands watching O'Keefe and Maggie.) 
Well, I'm not going to have such high-toned ladies as that 
running into any gum-chewing stenographer of mine. Do 
you get me ? 

Maggie. Yes, I get you, Mr. O'Keefe. If you think 
I spoil the classy tone of your office {looks around stage 
sneeringly), you better go look for some one else, 

O'Keefe. There's no need of getting huffy about it, 
Miss Hennessy. 

Maggie. I don't care, — my friend in {place of produc- 
tion) says all the ladies in the {church society) chew 
gum — she's seen 'em. 

O'Keefe. That's all right — I got nothing to say about 
that, but in here I'm boss, and I put my foot down 
{stamps foot; Maggie and Bill jump) on chewing gum. 
Is that perfectly clear? 

Maggie. It is, Mr. O'Keefe. {Returns to typewriter^ 
takes gum out of mouth, sticks it on table edge huffily.) 
P'raps Miss {very thin girl) will take my place; I heard 
her tellin' {local hit) she was lookin' for a job. 

O'Keefe. Very well, I'll try her out. 

Maggie. There's no need of tryin* her out, Mr. 
O'Keefe, she ain't fat. 

O'Keefe. Humph ! That'll do for you. Miss Hen- 
nessy. 

Maggie (o thought comes to her; she looks down at 
her waist). Gee ! I 'd better not be so flip about throwin' 
up my job. There's this waist ain't all paid for yet, an' I 
give away my old one to Saidie, and these shoes, an' 
leather goin' up all the time. Gee — I'd better go slow. 
{She changes tone; speaks sweetly to O'Keefe.) Ex- 
cuse me, Mr. O'Keefe — I was only tryin' to be funny. 

O'Keefe. Well, you needn't try, Miss Hennessy; I'm 
paying you to run that there machine, not to crack jokes. 

Bill. Ha ! ha ! That's one on you, Maggie. Ha ! ha ! 

O'Keefe. What in thunder is the matter with you? 
Haven't you gone yet? Get out and mail that letter. 
{Exit Bill hastily.) If I depended upon that cub to 
mail my bills they'd all be outlawed before he got them 
in the box. 

Maggie. Ain't it fierce, Mr. O'Keefe? That kid 



6 o'keefe's circuit 

ain't got no sense of responsibility. Now with me, my 
employer's interests always come first. 

(Types away self-righteously.) 

O'Keefe {stares at Maggie). Huh! {Telephone 
rings. O'Keefe answers 'phone.) Hello. Yes, this is 
O'iCeefe's circuit. Yes. Sure, we can suit you. We've 
got the best talent going, — yes, anything from a Cabaret 
to a Ladies' Missionary meeting. Sure, we try 'em all 
out before we engage 'em, then we know what we're 
giving you. Prices? Why, anything from five up plus, 
to anything you wish to pay. What's the plus? Why, 
plus car fares, of course. Yes, I know car fares are 
pretty darned expensive, but as long as we haven't got 
wings or Flivvers, we've got to pay 'em. What do you 
want them for? Oh, the Eastern Star. How'd you like 
a black-face act ? You wouldn't ? Well, we've got some- 
thing just as good, — a snappy comedy quartette, singing 
and dancing, you know. They're ladies? Well, what if 
they are? You think that's a little too — too frivolous? 
{Makes face.) Well, what do you want? You don't 
want to pay very much? What? You thought you 
could get a singer for two-fifty? Good-night! You 
don't want a singer — you want a dish-washer. 

{Hangs up receiver angrily.) 

Maggie. Some old hen thinkin' this was a bargain 
counter ? 

O'Keefe. Just about — they make me sick. These 
people that want high class talent for nothing get my 
goat. 

Maggie. I got an aunt who belongs to the Eastern 
Star. 

O'Keefe. She must be a bird. 

Maggie. Well, she ain't no chicken, believe me. Say, 
Mr. O'Keefe, speakin' of goats — are you a Mason ? 

O'Keefe. A Mason? I wish I was. Look at the 
money they're getting now. 

Maggie. Oh, I don't mean that kind — I mean a mem- 



o'keefe's circuit 7 

ber of the Masonic Lodge — you know — the place where 
they keep the goats. 

O'Keefe. Nothing doing. 

Maggie. My father's a Mason. I got an uncle who's 
Worshipful Grand Master in the lodge down in Squee- 
dunk. 

O'Keefe. What in thunder did you call him ? 

Maggie. Worshipful Grand Master. Gee — you ought 
to see him with his apron on — he looks just like a Kew- 
pie! 

(Puts arms out to imitate fat man; laughs.) 

O'Keefe. Does' his wife call him Worshipful Grand 
Master ? 

Maggie. Not on your life — that's why he joined the 
Masons. Poor Uncle Pete ! (Laughs.) 

O'Keefe. Well, now I've got your family history, 
suppose you do some work. (Maggie types away loudly. 
Bill enters l. ; stands in doorway. ) What — you back 
already ? I didn't expect to see you until next week. 

Bill. Say, Boss, there's some dusky-lookin^ guys 
headed this way. 

O'Keefe. What did they look like ? 

Bill. They look like easy money. 

(Door-bell.) 

O'Keefe. Well, let's have a look at them. (Bill 
goes to door, ushers in Mose and Charley.) Hello — 
come in. Say, Miss Hennessy, you'd better turn on the 
lights — it's gettin' pretty dark around here. (Laughs.) 

Mose. Is dis yere place O'Keefe's Circus? 

O'Keefe. Circuit — not circus. 

Mose. What's the diffelence. Boss? 

O'Keefe. Well, a circus goes out on the road, and a 
circuit — a circuit 

Bill. A circuit kicks people out of the road if they're 
punk. 

O'Keefe. That'll do for you. Now let's see what 
your specialty is — song and dance? 

Mose. Dat's it. Boss, dat's it. 



8 o'keefe's circuit 

O'Keefe. Well, shoot 

(MosE and Charley, tzuo male darkey characters in 
song and dance. Off l., then enter swaggeringly.) 

Charley. Say, Mose — what you-all doin' dese yere 
days? {Comes c.) 

Mose {following). Doin'? What yo' mean, Charley? 
Charley. I means — is you-all got a job? 
Mose. A job? Sure, I'se got a swell job. 
Charley. What kin' ob a job, Mose? 
Mose. I'se a sort ob corntractor, Charley. 

{Puts fingers in vest; swaggers r.) 

Charley. A corntractor? Yo' mean dem new- 
fangled plowin' machines? {Folloivs him r.) 

Mose. New-fangled plowin' machines? No, I don't 
mean dat. 

Charley. Don' dey call dem tractors? 

Mose. Not corntractors, Charley, — a corntractor's a 
man what's smart enough to get odder people to work 
for him, an' he jes' sets back easy-lak an' pulls In de 
money. 

Charley. Humph ! An' you-all's got dat kin' ob a 
job, Mose? {Sighs, shakes head mournfully, goes r.) 
Yo' mus' hab been born under a lucky star, Mose — yo' 
always falls on yo' feet, 

Mose {looks dotvn at his huge, flat feet). I cain't 
miss 'em, Charley — I jes' cain't miss 'em. But say — I 
guess I was born under a lucky star, Charley. 

Charley. What star was yo' born under, Mose? 

Mose. De name ob dat star, Charley, was Beanus. 

Charley. Beanus ? 

Mose. Yes, sir, I was born Saturday night, Charley, 
an* we always has baked beanus ebbery Saturday night. 

{They laugh, take a fezv steps to the left.) 

Charley. But Mose, — how come yo' got dat job ob 
corntractor? 

Mose. Why, easies' thing in dis yere world, Charley 
—I got married! {Pokes Charley in ribs.) 



o'keefe*s circuit 9 

Charley. Married ! 

MosE. Yas, Charley, Fse married. (Goes r., then 
returns.) Yo' 'member dat li'l' Angelina White? 

Charley. Sho' I 'member dat H'l' Angelina White — 
why, I used to run 'round wid Angelina. 

MosE. Sho', I know dat, Charley, but yo' ain't runnin' 
round wid her now — not ef I knows it. 

Charley. Why not ? 

MoSE. She's Angelina Johnsing now. 

Charley. What ! Yo'-all means to tell me dat while 
I was ober in France fightin' de Germans an' de cooties, 
dat 

MosE. While yo'-all was ober in France fightin' de 
Germans an' de cooties, I was ober here fightin' wid 
Angelina ! 

Charley (sadly). Li'l' Angelina White, — say, Mose, 
do yo' call dat usin' a fellow white to steal away his gal 
jes' as soon as his back is turned? 

Mose. Wal, Charley, yo' — yo' back was turned so 
blamed long dat I couldn't see yo' face at all. (Goes l.) 

Charley (mournfully). Li'l' Angelina White! 
(Sighs; goes r.) Is — is yo'-all happy, Mose — yo' an' 
Angelina ? 

Mose. Sho', we'se powerful happy. (Chuckles.) 

Charley (comes c). Angelina's a right smart li'l' 
gal, — I jes' can taste dem corn muffins now she used to 
make. Yum, yum ! 

Mose. Sho', she's right smart, Angelina is, — too blame 
smart — dey ain't no use tryin' to fool Angelina. Say, — 
de odder night I — I was jes' tryin' to skin away an' go to 
de mobin-picture show, when Angelina puts her haid out 
ob de window. 

Charley. She put her haid out ob de window? 

Mose. Yas, dat's what she done. You know my 
Angelina 

Charley. She used to be my Angelina. 

(Sighs; goes l.) 

Mose. Wal, she's my Angelina now — she's makin' 
corn muffins for me now — didn't I say I was a corn- 



10 o'keefe's circuit 

tractor? (Chuckles.) She am dead set against mobin- 
picture shows, dat Angelina am. She says dere ain't no 
diffelence twixt mobin-picture shows an' de demon 



rum 

Charley. Huh ! dat's ancient history, Mose, 'bout de 
demon rum. 

MosE (glares at Charley). — in dere demobilizing de- 
fec' upon de human cy stern, an' she jes' pokes her haid 
out ob de window dat night, an' she yells at me lak it 
was kingdom-come. " Whar yo'-all goin', yo' good-for- 
nothing nigger ? " " J-J- Jes' out ambulatin, " says I. 
" Yo' jes' ambulate yo'self into dis yere house, an' walk 
wid de baby, Mose Johnsing," she yelled, wid de sparks 
jes' a-bustin' out ob dem big black eyes ob hers, " dat 
po' li'l' Herpicide's tuk sick wid de cowlick." " Wal, 
Angelina Johnsin'," spon's I, spunky-lak, " ef dat li'l* 
shrimp has done tuk sick again wid de cowlick, why don't 
yo'-all gib her goat's milk ? " 

(They laugh; take few steps to R.) 

Charley. Say, Mose — what yo'-all think about dis 
yere Immunity Singin'? 

Mose. Lunacy singin', yo' means, Charley ? 

Charley. No, Mose, — Immunity singin'. 

Mose. What about dat, Charley? 

Charley. Yo' see, Mose, when me an' Pershing was 
ober in France fightin' de Germans an' de cooties 

Mose. An' I was ober here fightin' Angelina, — go on, 
Charley. 

Charley. Dey been sayin' right along, Mose, dat a 
singin' army was a winnin' army, so dat singin' am a 
sort ob serum-lak — it makes de soldiers immune to de- 
feat. 

Mose (looks dotvn at his feet, thinks, then slaps 
Charley on shoulder). Now, Charley, I'se been won- 
derin' and wonderin' all dis yere time why I had flat feet, 
an' now I knows it's jes' because I nebber could sing in. 
tune. (Both laugh.) 

Charley. I got a good song, Mose, — ebber hear it ? 

Mose. How's I know, Charley, whedder I'se heard 
it bef o ', until I hears it ? 



o'keEFE's CIRCUIT II 

(They give song and dance, then exit L.) 

{Door-hell. Bill goes to door, reenters, goes to 
O'Keefe.) 

Bill. There's a lady dancer outside. 
O'Keefe. A dancer? Bring her in — we haven't had 
a dancer in here in some time. 

Bill {at door). Come in, Minnehaha. 

{The music appropriate to Indian dance begins, played 
by piano or victrola and Minnehaha runs in, gives 
her dance, and runs out afterward.) 

{Telephone rings.) 

O'Keefe {at 'phone). Hello — hello — what? Yes, this 
is O'Keefe's Circuit, — sure. What's that? Last night? 
What about it ? I didn't sleep much either. What ! Oh, 
you say this is the Hither and Yon Club in Arlington? 
Who? Didn't show up? That's funny — oh, it wasn't 
funny? Yes, of course — I don't understand it. I've sent 
{local hit "man") and {local hit "girl") all over the 
country in their specialty, and they've never gone back 
on their word before. Sure they understood the date? 
Humph ! 

Bill {excitedly) . You talkin' about {first name) and 
{second name) ? 

O'Keefe. Yes, I am. {At 'phone.) I'm sorry — I 
can't understand 

Bill. Didn't you see in the paper about them? 

O'Keefe. What? 

Bill. They was married yesterday. 

O'Keefe. Married ! Are you sure ? 

Bill {brings paper to desk). Here's the facts — mar- 
ried yesterday, gone to Montreal on their honeymoon. 
See their pictures? 

O'Keefe. Well, of all things! {At 'phone.) You 
don't know how sorry I am, Mrs. — er — Hither and Yon 
— er — I beg your pardon — I'm very much upset over this 
— very much indeed. I know — I know they had no right 



12 O KEEFE S CIRCUIT 

to get married, but you see they didn't consult me. Of 
course — I'm sure it will never happen again — humph! 
(Hangs up receiver.) She rang off, mad as a hornet. 
Bill. Well, it was her that got stung, (Laughs.) 
O'Keefe. Oh, these women, these women ! 

(Bell rings. Bill goes out; reenters and goes to 
O'Keefe.) 

Bill. Say, Boss, there's a lady outside who says she's 
the missing link. 

O'Keefe. What! We don't want no more monkeys 
around here. 

Bill. That ain't what she means. 

O'Keefe. Well, what does she mean ? 

Bill. She says she's a sort of link between the dead 
and the living. 

O'Keefe. Tell her we don't want no dead ones around 
here. 

Bill. But she's awful classy — sort of spooky-like. 

O'Keefe. Oh — is she a medium ? 

Bill. I don't know whether she's a commedium or not 
— I'll ask her, (Goes l.) 

O'Keefe. Idiot ! I mean — is she a Spiritualistic 
Medium ? 

Bill. That's it, boss. I knew it had something to do 
with Prohibition. Shall I tell her to come in? 

O'Keefe. Sure, show her in. What's her name? 

Bill. Madame Spirituella. (Places chair c.) 

O'Keefe, Well, show Ella in. 

(Bill goes out, returns, whispers.) 

Bill. Say — she wants it darker in here — sort of 
mysterious. 

O'Keefe. She ought to have been here when Mose 
and Charley did their stunt — it was dark enough then. 

Maggie. My friend Saidie went to a woman like that 
once. She paid her two plunks, and all she got out of it 
was a message from her mother who died three years 



O KEEFE S CIRCUIT I3 

ago askin' her had she paid (local hit) the quarter she 
borrowed from her four years ago. 

(The lights are lowered and Spirituella enters, clad in 
misty gray draperies, a gray veil floating from her 
head. She goes slowly to chair c. and sits, sighs, 
relaxes and goes into trance.) 

Spirituella (mysteriously) . I feel it — it is coming. 
O'Keefe. What's coming — a thunder-storm? 
Maggie. Oh, Mr. O'Keefe, an' me scared pink of 
thunder-storms ! 

Spirituella. It comes ! 

O'Keefe. What? 

Spirituella. My control. 

O'Keefe. You'd better hustle up, or I'll lose mine. 

(Bill snorts.) 

Maggie (in loud whisper). That's just the way the 
woman did who charged Saidie two plunks for that fool 
message. Ask her who her control is. 

O'Keefe. Who is your control? 

Spirituella. The spirit of my little Caroletta, who 
passed into the beautiful beyond a year ago. 

(Sighs heavily.) 

O'Keefe. Who was she — your daughter? y 

Spirituella. No — my little canary. 

(Maggie and Bill snicker.) 

O'Keefe. Humph ! What happened to Caroletta ? 

Bill. I know— she et a germ in her bird seed. 

Spirituella (rises, stretches out arms 'in agony). 
Come back, come back, my little Caroletta — oh — she goes 
— she cannot remain where there is levity. 

O'Keefe (to Bill). Get out. Levity — you're an ad- 
verse influence. (Exit Bill.) Now maybe the pretty 
birdie will come back. 

Spirituella (clasping her hands joyously and sinking 



14 o'keefe's circuit 

back into chair). Ah — she comes ! she comes ! My little 
Caroletta ! What message do you bear from those in the 
beautiful beyond? She speaks! Ah! It is a message 
for (wealthy girl) from her departed Aunt Luella, asking 
if she always remembers to brush her teeth twice a day. 
Wait — Aunt Luella has another message. Aunt Luella 
says do not go to Dr. (local dentist), as she went to him 
once to have a tooth extracted, and he pulled out the 
wrong tooth. 

Maggie. They say his prices is something fierce. 

O'Keefe. Cut it out-^you'U scare away little Caro- 
letta. 

Spirituella. Ah — my little golden winged songster 
bears another message from the other side of the Earth- 
Door. Speak, Caroletta ! Ah ! A message for Mrs. 
(woman with several small children) from her great- 
aunt Eliza. Speak, Caroletta — what does Great-Aunt 
Eliza wish to convey to her niece ? Ah ! " You will find 
the lost rubber belonging to little (name of one of her 
children) in the bottom of the flour-barrel." 

Maggie. Gee! I'm glad I'm not boardin' at her 
house. 

O'Keefe. I guess she's glad, too, with your appetite. 

(Maggie sniffs.) 

Spirituella. Ah — I feel another message from the 
spirit world! It is for (young man) from his great-great 
grandmother on his mother's side. She wishes this mes- 
sage conveyed to him, " Do not take that joui'ney which 
you are contemplating, as danger awaits you at the end 
of the journey." 

Maggie. I know where he was goin' — I heard him 
sayin' the other night that he'd been savin' up for the 
last two months to take (girl) for a street car ride to 
South Boston. 

Spirituella. I hear the flutter of wings — my little 
Caroletta brings another message from the Homeland. 
Yes — what is it? Ah ! It is for (young man just started 
in business) from his Uncle Ebenezer Hardtack. Yes, 
Uncle— what did you wish to tell your nephew? Listen: 



o'keefe's circuit ic 

" Uncle Ebenezer warns his nephew not to lend that five 
hundred dollars to Mr. {wealthy and reliable man) as he 
will never see it again." 

Maggie. He ! he ! 

O'Keefe. Sh I She's got 'em again. 

Spirituella. Once more it comes — once more! 

O'Keefe. What next ? 

Spirituella. Oh! {She raises her arm before her 
eyes as if to ward off a blow.) Oh— I see a soul in 
agony ! Speak ! What words do I hear coming from that 
tortured spirit? Ah ! It is a message for Dr. {prominent 
physician) from a patient of his who has suffered a 
Sudden Passing ta the Spirit Sphere. What news from 
that tempest-tossed soul? Ah! She speaks! {In a 
wailing tone.) " Doctor, oh, Doctor! Why did you give 
me Paris Green when you know I never could stand that 
color?" 

Maggie {in loud whisper). I remember hearin' about 
that. Dr. {local) lost about all his practice when that 
woman cashed in. They say he hasn't a thing to do. 

O'Keefe. Sh ! 

Spirituella. Again, again, my little one? Ah, it is 
a word for Mrs. {local) from her cook, who has de- 
parted to Higher Realms. 

O'Keefe. Higher wages, you mean. 

Spirituella. Yes, — listen to her message : " Whin 
yez are willin' to be afther payin' me fifteen dollars a 
wake I will come ! " 

O'Keefe. Say, my wife wants you to ask her Aunt 
Sophia Pettingill where she put the gold thimble which 
was left to her in her will. 

Spirituella. The gold thimble ! Speak, Aunt Sophia, 
speak to your niece, who awaits your answer! She 
speaks ! " The gold thimble is in the possession of Mrs. 
{local), who borrowed it from me at a meeting of the 
Ladies' Western Missionary Society two weeks before my 
passing. You will have hard work getting it away from 
her." 

0'Keb;fe. Thanks, Ella. 

Magg-ie. Say, Spirituella, can you tell me what they're 
goin' to -have for dinner at home to-night? 



i6 o'keefe's circuit 

Spirituella (sniffs delicately). My control informs 
me that there is floating about in the all-permeating ether 
the aroma of — corned beef and cabbage. 

Maggie. Thanks for the tip — I guess I '11 go to Childs' ! 

Spirituella (rising). My control is leaving me — 
even now I hear the departing flutter of her vikings as she 
takes her way to the Realm of the Central Sun. I go. 

(Goes to exit.) 

O'Keefe. Say, just a minute, Citronella — can't you 
give us one more? 

Spirituella. One more ? I will try. Come, my little 
Caroletta — come back for a moment and speak to the 
Earth-People ! 

(She raises arms imploringly, goes c.) 

O'Keefe. I knew you could bring her back, Spirits of 
Camphor ! 

Spirituella (haughtily). Spirituella! 

O'Keefe. Excuse me, I'm not very strong on names. 
Say — couldn't you give me some dope from my Grand- 
father Skinner? He always had good horse sense. 

Maggie. Horse sense has gone out of style, Mr. 
O'Keefe, along with horses. 

O Keefe. I'm not asking you for information. Miss 
Hennessy. 

Maggie. Oh, excuse me ! 

Spirituella. Ah, it comes — it comes — the message 
from your Grandfather Skinner ! 

O'Keefe. Good girl ! What's on his mind? 

Spirituella. He speaks — he speaks! (She shrinks.) 
Ah — the warning — beware ! 

O'Keefe. Huh! 

Spirituella. You have an enemy who seeks to des- 
troy you ! 

O'Keefe (rising excitedly). Who? Me? 

Spirituella. An enemy ! 

O'Keefe (sits hack calmly). Sure, any man who 
amounts to anything has enemies. You can't scare me. 



O KEEFE S CIRCUIT I7 

Spirituella. I tremble for you ! 

O'Keefe. Well, as long as it isn't an earthquake, go 
ahead. Who is this particular enemy ? 

Spirituella {puts hands over her eyes). I cannot 
see clearly — my little Caroletta is flying away. Come 
back — come back and lighten my darkness, my little 
golden-feathered control! {Lets arms drop slowly.) 
Ah ! At last I see ! 

O'Keefe. Who is he? 

Spirituella. He seeks your destruction, — slowly, 
subtly, he is robbing you of your wealth. His deceit 
knows no bounds — he is merciless in his demands upon 
you — you cannot escape him — every day he haunts your 
house — slowly but inevitably you must fall a helpless 
victim. {Goes slowly to exit.) 

O'Keefe. I know — I know — it's the Grocer! {Exit 
Spirituella. O'Keefe sighs heavily, picks up paper 
from desk, fans himself.) That — that Spirits of 
Camphor 

Maggie. Spirituella. 

{Rises, puts chair hack of stage.) 

O'Keefe. Thanks, Miss Hennessy. That Spirituella 
critter pretty nearly knocked me out. Say, do you know 
what I'd like? 

Maggie. I know what you'd like, but you can't get it. 

O'Keefe. I don't mean that — I've had all the Spirits 
I can stand. I'll tell you what I'd like — I'd like to hear 
some good old-fashioned songs. 

Maggie. Humph ! Not for me. 

{Hums popular tune; takes step or two; then sits at 
typewriter. ) 

O'Keefe. It's nothing but ragtime and jazz 'til my 
brain just about goes on strike. {Sighs.) If I could only 
hear some of those old things, like "Believe me, if all these 
endearing young charms " and " Annie Laurie " and — 
oh, you know the ones I mean — if I could only hear some 
of them for a change instead of " My jazz baby " and 
such junk ! 



o'keefe'j circuit 



I\Iaggie (with mouth open). Mr. O'Keefe, I never 
knew you was sentimental before. 

(Bell rings. Bill ushers in a girl in old-fashioned 
costume, who sings some old-time songs.) 



End of Part I 



PART II 

SCENE. — The scene is the same as Act I. O'Keefe is 
the only one on the stage, and is seated in chair tilted 
back from desk, snoring loudly. He jumps and sits 
up startled as Maggie enters noisily, dressed for the 
street. She stops at exit and talks loudly and gushingly 
to some one outside. O'Keefe looks disgusted. 

Maggie. Uh, huh. Good-bye, Saidie, had a swell 
lunch — see you to-night. What you goin* to wear ? You 
are? I'm gonna wear my new pink taffeta — you know 
the one I got in the basement last week for sixteen-fifty, 
— uh-huh. Leap-year pink, they call it, — yeah, awful 
pretty color. Sam? Sure, he's goin'. Say, you'd 
oughter heard Pa when he saw that dress on me — he 
nearly threw a fit. "Where's the rest of it?" he yelled. 
" Rest of it ? " says I. " What do you mean ? " " Well," 
says he, "no daughter of mine is goin' to a party with 
that remnant on." " Remnant ? " says I. " This is a 
swell dress, I'd have you know — they're all wearin' 
dresses like this, Pa, — Miss {local) and all the swells." 
"I don't give a" — {laughs) you know, says Pa, "you 
put a shawl or somethin' over your collar-bones, or you 
don't leave this house." Sure, I put a sweater on, an' he 
never knew but what I kep' it on all evenin*. Ain't men 
the limit? Well — good-bye, Saidie. 

{She comes c. taking off gloves.) 

O'Keefe {hangs fist on table). What in thunder do 
you think this is — the society column ? You've been gone 
two hours! 

Maggie. Have I really, Mr. O'Keefe? I can't be- 
lieve it. {Looks at wrist zvatch.) Well, ain't that the 
limit ? My watch has stopped ! No wonder I was late, — 
what do you knov/ about my watch stoppin' on me ? 

O'Keefe. Well, young lady, your salary will be 

19 



20 O'KEEFE's circuit 

Stopped if you don't remember that you have one hour 
off at noon, not two. Here I've been workin* my head 
off waitin' for you. 

(Turns angrily to desk; musses up papers.) 

Maggie. Mr. O'Keefe — I'm so sorry. 

{Takes off hat, puts it on chair near desk, goes to 
mirror, prinks, powders nose, O'Keefe watching her 
in disgust.) 

O'Keefe (bangs fist on table; Maggie jumps). Say — 
what do you think this is — a beauty parlor ? (Bill enters 
whistling popidar tune off key. ) Well — so my office force 
is all here, and only an hour late. Talk about efficiency ! 

Bill. I wasn't talkin' about efficiency — I was talkin' 
about the ball game. 

O'Keefe. Humph ! 

Bill. Say, there's a couple of hayseeds headed this 
way — they come up in the elevator with me. (Looks out 
exit.) Here they come. 

O'Keefe. Well, let them in — there's lots of money in 
hay. 

(Deacon Small and his wife enter nervously. Bill 
goes out. The Deacon is a prim, solemn-faced 
man with side-whiskers, and his wife is a plump, 
prim little old lady. They look about nervously as 
they enter.) 

Deacon. Is this — er — am I mistaken in thinking that 
this is — er — O'Keefe's Circuit? 

O'Keefe (rising). This is O'Keefe's Circuit. 

Deacon. Am I addressing Mr. O'Keefe? 

O'Keefe. You are. Come in, sir, — you and your 
wife, — or your lady friend. 

Deacon (shocked). This is my wife, sir. 

O'Keefe. Oh, yes, I might have known it. 

Deacon. May I inquire why, aside from the fact that 
she is accompanying me, you might have known that 
Maria was my wife? 

O'Keefe (gallantly). Well — not meaning, of course, 



o'keefe's circuit 21 

to offend the lady by my flattery, I would say that only 
your husband could ever appreciate your true beauty. 

{He smiles at her; she smiles timidly.) 

Deacon. Sir! My name is Deacon Small, and I do 
not wish any man to flatter my wife. 

Mrs. Small {simpering). Thomas is a very jealous 
man. 

O'Keefe. Then I'd better look out. Well, Deacon 
Small — what can I do for you ? 

Deacon. My mission is this: my wife and I have 
travelled all the way from {small town near by) to ar- 
range for an entertainment to be given at our church. 
We have a sociable once a year, and last year some — er — 
er — entertainers were engaged by Deacon Doolittle 
(Deacon Small and his wife exchange significant 
glances), and were paid the exorbitant sum of ten dollars 
plus their expenses. 

Mrs. Small. Just think of it ! Such extravagance ! 

Deacon {raises hand sternly). Allow me to speak, 
Maria. {Frowns at her; she wilts.) 

O 'Keefe. Will you be seated ? 

{Places chairs c. for couple.) 

Mrs. Small. Thank you, Mr. Upkeep. {Sits.) 

O'Keefe. O'Keefe, madam. 

Mrs. Small. Oh, yes — I never can remember names, 
can I, Thomas ? It's so embarrassing at times, especially 
when you want to introduce people. 

Deacon {sitting). Never mind, Maria— our time is 
limited. I will proceed. As I said, Deacon Doolittle en- 
gaged some entertainers at an exorbitant price, and what 
do you think they sent us? 

Mrs. Small. Wasn't it dreadful? {Sighs.) 

Deacon. They gave a song and dance that was so 
shocking that Mrs. Doolittle was obliged to leave the 
church, and for weeks afterwards she was a nervous 
wreck. 

Mrs. Small. And the dancer — tell him about the 
dancer, Thomas. 



22 0*KEEFE*S CIRCUIT 

Deacon. There was introduced into that scene of 
revelry a — ^er — dancer, whose — er — proportions were so 
plainly shown that Sister Dorcas almost fainted away at 
the sight. She was very ill in consequence, and — er — 
naturally, as I have the task of providing entertainment 
for our meeting this year, I wish to be assured that the 
entertainment will not be — er — offensive to the members 
of our church. Have I made it clear? 

O'Keefe. Yes, Deacon, I think I get your point. (Sits 
at desk; thinks.) Now let me see what I have. (Looks 
over papers.) M'm — there's Miss {local hit; girl who 
can sing) and Miss {local hit) ; they give a good enter- 
ment. Miss {very shy girl) sings and Miss {local) 
reads selections from some of the latest plays — she gives 
a very good reading from Grace George's latest play, 
called " The Ruined Lady." 

Deacon. Sir ! 

Mrs. Small. Oh, Thomas! That would never do! 

O'Keefe. Just as you say — snappy title, though — gets 
across. 

Deacon. Shocking ! 

Mrs. Small. Oh, very! What would Sister Dorcas 
say? 

(Maggie watches them disgustedly; resumes type- 
writing. ) 

O'Keefe. Well, let me see. Here's (boy back from 
France) and {another veteran) with their troop of 
trained cooties — that's a good act — nice and lively — 
plenty of go to them — they always get across. 

Mrs. Small. Get a cross? What kind of a cross? 
A war cross? 

O'Keefe. No ! they get across to the audience — ^make 
a hit, you know, 

Mrs. Small. Oh — you mean they furnish a pleasur- 
able evening. 

O'Keefe. Yes, good lively one. 

Deacon. I don't know whether — well — perhaps you 
have some more suggestions to make. 

O'Keefe. Sure — anything you like, {Bell rings. 



o'keefe's circuit 23 

O'Keefe looks around.) Maggie, you go to the door — 
that darn kid's gone to the ball game, I guess. (Maggie 
goes to exit, ushers in man dressed in a Turkish costume 
covered by a cloak or cape, and a woman's wig.) Who's 
this? 

(Maggie whispers with dancer, then speaks.) 

Maggie. Mademoiselle Ruth Sandy-knee, of the Met- 
ropolitan Park Commission. 

Ruth. No ! No ! The Metropolitan Grand Opera ! 
Maggie. Just as you say. 

{Shrugs shoulders, goes to table, types.) 

O'Keefe. You're a dancer, I take it. 
Ruth. Premiere danseuse. 

(Throws off cloak, tosses it on chair. Deacon Small 
and his wife rise startled.) 

Mrs. Small. Thomas — this is no place for us ! 

(Takes his arm.) 

Deacon. You are right, Maria — this is no place for 
us. You go back to the station and wait for me — I — I 
will witness this — this outrageous — er — affair, and report 
it to the Watch and Ward Society. 

Mrs. Small. Do you think I will leave you here, 
Thomas, to the mercies of that — that vampire? No, if 
you remain, I remain. (Sits stiffly.) 

O'Keefe. What is your price, — er — Miss Sandy- 
knee? 

Ruth. I will dance twice for one hundred dollars. 

Mrs. Small. Thomas! Did you hear that? 

Deacon. I did. 

O'Keefe. Well, get bu.sy, Ruthy, and let's see what 
you can do. (Rises.) Here — we'd better put these 
chairs back further to give you plenty of space for 
dancing. 

(He puts Deacon's chair back c, then returns for 
other chair.) 



24 o'keefe's circuit 

Mrs. Small (rising). Thomas! Do you think that 
you — the superintendent of the Sabbath School, and I, a 
teacher and — a moulder of the morals of the youth of our 
community— do you think that we ought to remain and 
apparently condone this — this terrible thing? 

(O'Keefe moves her chair back c. ; motions her to 
take the chair.) 

O'Keefe. All ready for the performance, folks. Sit 
down. (Deacon Small and his wife go back c. Mrs. 
Small sits stiffly, Deacon remains standing, looking at 
the dancer, takes off his glasses, polishes them with his 
handkerchief.) Sit down. Grandpa. 

(Deacon Small sits angrily. Ruth Sandy-knee 
dances an Oriental dance in an exaggerated manner, 
with sinuous motions and languishing glances at the 
audience. The Smalls watch her, shocked but 
fascinated. ) 

Deacon. I wish I had some opera glasses. 

Mrs. Small. Thomas ! 

Deacon {haughtily). I wish to give a — er — a full 
account to the Watch Your Step Society — er, I mean, 
Watch and Ward. 

Mrs. Small. Oh! {Looks suspiciously at him.) 

(Ruth finishes dance and stands waiting.) 

Deacon {clapping zvildly). That's great — great, eh, 

what? 

{Slaps Mrs. Small on shoulder jovially, then comes 
to with a start.) 

Mrs. Small {rising angrily). So that — that vampire 
has undermined your morals, has she? 

Deacon. Oh, no, Maria, nothing like that. She saved 
us a hundred dollars ! 

Mrs. Small. A hundred dollars ! 

Deacon. Doesn't she charge people a hundred dollars 
to see her dance? Well, we've seen her for nothing, by 
heck. Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! 



o'keefe's circuit 25 

Mrs. Smali^ (furiously). Thomas! This is too much ! 
(Looks furiously at Ruth.) And you — you painted 
creature — I 'II teach you not to flirt with my husband ! 

(She strides to Ruth, pulls wig from his head and he 
smiles blandly at her; she looks ready to collapse.) 

Ruth. There, Sweetness, I'm sorry I upset you. 

(He tries to embrace her; she runs to Deacon.) 

Mrs. Small. Thomas ! Thomas ! Take me away 
from this — this den-of iniquity. 

(Exit Deacon and Mrs. Small stiffly, and the dancer, 
who throws kisses to the audience.) 

Maggie (rocking with laughter). He! he! he! I 
haven't had so much fun since my little brother said his 
prayers for the minister. 

O'Keefe. What's that ? 

Maggie. The minister came to call one day, an' Ma, 
she was tryin' to show Tommy off, an' she tells him to 
say the Lord's Prayer for the minister. He ! he ! he ! 

O'Keefe. I don't see the joke. 

Maggie. He ! he ! he ! He got along all right till he 
got to " — and forgive us our debts — " he ! he ! he ! What 
do you think he said? 

O'Keefe. Search me. 

Maggie. " Forgive us our debts as we forgive our 
dentists." (Laugh. Bell rings. Maggie goes to door, 
returns.) Mr. O'Keefe, there's a lady outside who gives 
monologues. 

O'Keefe. They all do. 

Maggie. But this one gets paid for it. 

O'Keefe (sighs). If it isn't another curtain-lecture, 
bring her in. (Reader enters.) Well, what is your 
particular line? 

Reader. I should like to give a (description) entitled 
(title). 

O'Keefe. Well, as long as this Is a free country, I 
suppose I can't stop you. (Sighs heavily. Reader gives 



26 o'keefe's circuit 

reading or monologue, then goes out. Bill enters let- 
surely; O'Keefe glares at him. ) Where you been ? 

Bill. I've been out buyin' Ma a birthday present. 

Maggie. What'd ja get 'er? 

Bill {takes small hag out of pocket). I got her a 
pound of sugar. 

{Bell rings; Bill goes to door.) 

Maggie. Here — I'll look after the sugar for you — give 
it to me. 

Bill {stuffing hag into pocket). Not on your life — it 
ain't insured. {Opens door.) Huh? 

Voice {outside). Carmencita, Serior. 

Bill. Well, I seen you first, anyway. What's that 
you call yourself ? 

Carmencita. Carmencita, 

Bill. Come in and seat her. There's plenty of chairs. 

Carmencita {haughtily). Carmencita — cita means 
little. 

Bill. Huh! A little bit of carmine. {He looks 
closely at her cheeks, touches one with his finger, then 
looks at his finger, takes out hrightly colored handker- 
chief and rubs finger with it scowling.) Huh ! I should 
say you'd put about a tube of carmine on your face. A 
little bit of Heaven, or a little bit of 

Carmencita {stamps foot). Silence, boy! 

(Bill jumps.) 

O'Keefe {rising). What's this? You getting fresh? 
Beat it ! 

Bill {going to exit). Hurray I Me for the ball game ! 

[Exit. 

O'Keefe {bows to Carmencita). I'm sorry, Miss, — 
er — what do you do — sing? 

Carmencita. I sing from the Opera Carmen. 

O'Keefe. Carmen? I thought they were all on 
strike. 

Carmencita. You mistake, Senor. How much you 
give me for my song? 

O'Keefe. Let's hear you sing first, then we'll talk 



O KEEFE S CIRCUIT I'J 

dollars and cents. (Carmencita sings, then runs off.) 
Some girl ! 

Maggie. Humph ! I didn't think much of her voice. 
I could sing better than that myself. 

(Bell rings. Maggie goes to door, ushers in the Hip- 
pity-hop Twins, a man and girl.) 

Man. Is this O'Keefe's Circuit? 

O'Keefe. This is the place. What can I do for you? 

Girl. We'd like to put our names on your list. 

O'Keefe. What's your specialty? 

Man. Song and dance. 

O'Keefe. What's the name of your song? (Girl 
gives name of popular song.) All right — show us what 
you can do. You know we never hire talent without 
hearing them first — we have too much sympathy for the 
public. 

Girl. So tender-hearted! 

O'Keefe. That's me, all right. Go ahead. (They 
give song and dance, then run out. Immediately after 
they have gone, a terrific blast is heard, played on a 
trombone. O'Keefe jumps up. ) For the love of Pete ! 

Maggie (jumps up). Sounds like a blow-out. 

O'Keefe. I'll bet that darn kid's gone ofif in my 
Flivver to the ball-game. Come on, Miss Hennessy — 
let's shut up shop and call it a day. 

(Maggie seises her hat, runs out with O'Keefe; the 
Blow Brothers, a colored orchestra, enter and play.) 



THE SLACKER 

A Patriotic Play in One Act 
^ By "Jewell Bothwell lull 
Two male, seven female characters. Scene, an interior ; costumes, 
modern and military. Plays forty minutes. The hero, beyond the draft 
aj^e, has not enlisted because he deems it to be his widowed mother's wish 
and his su-eellieart's preference, as well as his own duty not to do so. He 
tries on the uniform of a friend who is going, "just to be in it once," and 
bcinj; discovered, finds to his surprise that both his mother and his fiancee 
h.ive been miserable under the charge that he is a " slacker " and are re- 
joiced to h.ave liim make good. Picturesque, patriotic, dramatic— -an ideal 
play for a Red Cross Entertainment. Strongly recommended. 
Price, 2J cents 

CHARACTERS 
Gkant Moore. Mrs. Smith, kis mother. 

M.\KS. ^\oo\K^, hh mother. Ella Brown, Aw sweetheart. 

Betty Caldwell, his fiancee, Mrs. Ralph, 
Benny Smith ^ young lieu- Mrs. Elton. 
tenant. Mrs. Jones. 

Other ladies and girls of the Marsville Red Cross Society. 

A ROMANCE IN PORCELAIN 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Rudolph Raphael 
Three males, one female. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. 
Plays twenty minutes. Cecilia and Clarence, engaged to marry, resort to 
Dr. Spencer before the knot is tied to secure a new upper set. Their troub- 
les in concealing their errand from each other reach a climax when both 
sets are stolen and the truth has to come out. Very funny and heartily 
recommended. Price, 2^ cents 

A PROFESSIONAL VISIT 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Rudolph Raphael 
Two males, one female. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. James 
Winlhrop, impecunious, calls upon his old friend. Dr. Raleigh, also hard 
up, to discuss the situation, and ends by getting engaged to the Doctor's 
landlady, a rich widow, who calls to collect the rent. Very swift work. 
Recommended. Price, sj cents 

THE GO-BETWEEN 

A Dramatic Comedy Playlet 

By Harry L. Newton 

One male, two females. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 

twenty minutes. Hezekiah, jilted on the eve of his wedding to Muriel, a 

heartless adventuress, who has ruined him, is rescued from suicide by 

Jane, a country sweetheart, in a capital little piece, mingling humor and 

pathos most adroitly. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 2j cents 



THE CONJURER 

A Dramatic Mystery in Three Acts 

By Mansfield Scott 

Author of "The Submarine Shell," "The Air-Spy," etc. 

Eight male, four female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two 
easy interiors. Plays a full evening. Royalty for amateur performance, 
$10.00 for the first and 355.00 each for subsequent performances by the 
same company. Free for school performance. George Clifford, in- 
capacitated for service at the front, employs his great talents as a conjurer 
to raise money for the soldiers. He is utilized by Inspector Steele, of the 
U. S. Secret Service, in a plan to discover certain foreign spies. The plan 
goes wrong and involves seven persons in suspicion of a serious crime. 
Clifford's clever unravelling of this tangled skein constitutes the thrilling 
plot of this play, the interest of which is curiously like that of the popular 
"Thirteenth Chair." This is not a " war-play " save in a very remote 
and indirect way, but a clever detective story of absorbing interest. 
Strongly recommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Inspector Malcome Steele. Driscoll Wells. 

George Clifford. Doctor Gordon Peak. 

Captain Frank Drummond Detective White. 

Gleason. Marion Anderson. 

Lieutenant Hamilton War- Edith Anderson. 

WICK. Ellen Gleason. 

Colonel Willard Anderson. Dorothy Elmstrom. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — The home of Colonel Anderson (Friday evening). 
Act II. — The office of Inspector Steele (Saturday afternoon). 
Act III. — The same as Act II (Saturday evening). 



THE OTHER VOICE 

A Play in One Act 

By S. vK. Fairbanks 
Three voices, preferably male, are employed in this little novelty which 
is intended to be presented upon a dark stage upon which nothing is 
actually visible save starlight. It was originally produced at Workshop 
47, Cambridge, where its effective distillation of the essential oil of tragedy 
was curiously successful. An admirable item for any programme seeking 
variety of material and effect. Naturally no costumes nor scenery are re- 
quired, save a drop carrying stars and possibly a city sky-line. Plays ten 
minutes only; royalty, i5!5.oo. 

Price, 2S cents 



THE MAN WHO WENT 

(Originally produced under the title "The Black Feather,") 
A Play in Four Acts 
By IV. A. Tremayne 
Seven males, three females. Scenery, one interior and one exterior, 
Costumes, modern. Plays a lull evening. Royalty, ^lo.oo for the first 
and i?s.oo each for other immediately succeeding performances. An ex- 
ceptionally stirring and effective play of the Great War, produced with 
great success in Canada as the successor of the popular " The Man Who 
Stayed at Home." Jack Thornton, a King's Messenger, entrusted with 
important state papers for delivery in Vienna, is robbed of them through 
his attachment to a lady in the Austrian secret service, and his career 
jeopardized ; but by the cleverness and daring of Dick Kent, of the Eng- 
lish secret service, who is in love with his sister Evelyn, the plot is frus- 
trated in a series of thrilling scenes, and all ends well. An exceptionally 
well built drama, full of sensations, ending in a strong last act full of 
" punch." A good play for any purpose, but ideally suited to thr temper 
of the present. Plenty of comedy, easy to stage, and confidentl* iiccom- 
men Jed. Price, 3^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
Dick Kent, in the English Secret Service. 
Jack Thornton, a King' s Messenger. 
Baron Von Arnheim, in the German Secret Service, 
Sir George Caxton, in the British Foreign Office. 
HoGUE, a German spy. 
Barnes, a chauffeur. 
Patton, a keeper. 
Evelyn Thornton, Jack's sister. 

Countess Wanda Von Holtzberg, in the Austrian Secre" Service, 
Lady Venktia Caxton, Sir George's wife. 

The action of the play takes place in the early summer of ^QI4. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. Jack Thornton's chambers in Portman Square, I,ondon. 
Dealing the cards. " Beware of the dog." 

Act II. A retired corner of Sir George Caxton's estate in Kent. 
Dick takes the first trick. "The son of his father." 

Act III. Jack Thornton's chambers. A bold play. •• Drive 
like the devil, Barnes — we've got to make Charing Cross by nine." 

Act IV. Jack Thornton's chambers. Dick wins the game. 
•• Tightening the bonds of Empire," 

OUTWITTED 

A Comedy Dramatic Novelty 
By Harry L. Newton 
One male, one female. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
twenty minutes. Sherman, a United States Secret Service man, encoun- 
ters Sophie, supposed to represent the enemy, and a duel of wits ensues. 
Very exciting and swift in movement, with an unexpected ending. Good 
work and well recommended. Price, 2j cents 



MUCH ADO ABOUT BETTY 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By Walter Ben Hare 
Ten male, twelve female characters, or seven males and seven females 
by doubling. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two easy interiors. Plays a 
full evening. Betty, a moving picture star, going south on a vacation, 
loses her memory from the shock of a railway accident, and is identihed 
as a rival, Violet Ostrich, from a hand-bag that she carries. In tliis char- 
acter she encounters the real Violet, who has just eloped with Ned O'l lare, 
and mixes things up sadly both for herself and the young couple. An 
exceptionally bright, clever and effective play that can be highly recom- 
mended. Good Negro, Irish and eccentric comedy parts. 
Price, 2J cents 

CHARACTERS 

Lin Leonard, JBe«3/'s o)ie 6es« 6e<. Ethel Kohler, a high-school admirer 

Major Jabtbeb, of Wichita, not only of Belly. 

bent, hut crooked. Violet Ostrich, a film favorite, Ned's 

Ned O' Hare, n jolly young honeymooner. bride. 

.Mr. E. Z. Osvixicis, who has written a "Mas. JC. M. JiiGaims, a guest at the Solel 

wonderful piclure-pUiy. Poinsettia. 

Da. McT^iuTT, solid ivory fromtheneckup. Daffodil Diggins, her daug}iter,"Yes, 

Jim Wii,vs, a high-.ic/tool senior. Mamma.' " 

Archie, a black bell-boy at the Hotel Miss Chizzle, one cf the North Qeorgia 

Poinsettia. Chizzles. 

Officer Riley, lufto always does hisduty. Pearlie Brown, Violet's maid, a wldoio 

Officer Dogan./co/k tlie Emerald Isle, of ebon hue. 

Mr. Ebenezer O'Habb, a sicfcjnan and Violet, Violet Ostrich's little girl aged 

a submerged tenth seve7i. 

Mrs. Ebenezkr O'Hare, "Birdie," the DiAiioiXD, Pearlie' s little girl aged six 

other nine-tenths. and 

Aunt Winnie, Betty's chaperone. Betty, the star of the Movagraph Co. 
Lizzie Monahan, Betty's maid, with a 

vivid imagination. 

Jartree may double Diigan ; Ned may double Riley ; Jim may double Archie ; 
Mrs. O'Hare may double Ethel; Aunt Winnie may double Pearlie and Lizzie 
may double Miss Cliizzle, thus reducing ihe cast to seven males and seven fe- 
males. The two children have no lines to speak. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. Betty's apartments near New York. Married in haste. 
ACT ir. Parlor D of the Hotel Poinsettia, Palm Beech, Pla. Three days later. 
Betty loses her memory. 
Act III. Same scene as Act II. A full honeymoon. 

JUST A LITTLE MISTAKE 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Elizabeth Gale 
One male, five female characters, or can be played by all girls. Cos- 
tjmes, modern; scenery, an easy interior. Plays forty minutes. Mrs. 
Ball receives a cablegram from her sister Lucy stating that Jerry 
will arrive that day and begging her to be cordial. Mrs. Ball then goes 
out to hire a cook, leaving three young friends to receive the unknown 
guest. The cook, sent down from tlie agency in haste, is greeted and 
entertained as Jerry and when the real Jerry (Miss Geraldine Take) ar- 
rives she is sent out to the kitchen. After considerable confusion and ex- 
citement she is discovered to be tlie " I.itile Miss Take," Strongly rec- 
onnnended. Price, 2j cents 



..>* •- 





kiflkAAAAAilkAA^ 


k^ki 


^^kj 


A^A^k^ 


lAA 


AAAl 








" 


Male, 


FemaUs Time 


price 


Royalty 




The Americana 




II 


1% hrs. 


25c 


Free 




Anita's Trial 




II 


2 « 


25c 


M 




Art Clubs are Trumps 




12 


% " 


25c 


« 




Behind the Scenes 




12 


i/z " 


25c 


M 




The Camp Fire Qirls 




15 


2 " 


250 


M 




A Case for Sherlock Holmes 




10 


I>^ « 


250 


(t 




The Farmerette 




7 


2 " 


25c 


« 




Getting the Range 




8 


'A " 


25c 


M 




Her First Assignment 


- 


10 


I " 


15c 


« 




Hltty's Service Flag 




II 


iX « 


25c 


« 




Joint Owners In Spain 




4 


Vz " 


25c 


$5-°o 




A King's Daughter 




II 


2 " 


25c 


Free 




The Knitting Club Meett 




9 


'A " 


25c 


« 




A Lady to Call 




3 


Yz " 


15c 


« 




Leave It to Polly 




II 


i/z " 


25 c 


fi 




The Minute Man 




«3 


l/z " 


250 


M 




Miss Fearless & Co. 




10 


2 " 


25c 


« 




A Modern Cinderella 




16 


I'A " 


25c 


« 




Moth' Balls 




3 


Yz " 


25c 


«< 




Rebecca's Triumph 




16 


2 " 


25c 


« 




The Thirteenth Star 




9 


lA " 


25c 


M 




Twelve Old Maids 




15 


I " 


25c 


i4 




An Awkward Squad 


8 




X " 


15c 


t< 




The Blow-up of Algernon Blow 


8 




Yz " 


J5C 


M 




The Boy Scouts 


20 




2 » 


25 c 


M 




A Close Shave 


6 




Y " 


15c 


« 




The First National Boot 


7 


r 


I " 


15c 


« 




A Half- Back's Interference 


lO 




H " 


15c 


« 




His Father's Son 


14 




iH " 


250 


« 




The Man With the Nose 


8 




% " 


15c 


« 




On the Quiet 


12 




lYz " 


25c 


<l 




The People's -Money 


II 




iH " 


25c 


« 




A Regular Rah ! Rah ! Boy 


14 




i}i « 


25c 


l< 




A Regular Scream 


II 




u4 " 


25c 


« 




Schmerecase in School 


9 




I " 


15c 


« 




The Scoutmaster 


lO 




2 •• 


25c 


« 




The Tramps' Convention 


17 




iY " 


. 25c 


M 




The Turn in the Road 


9 




lY " 


ISC 


« 




Wanted— A Pitcher 


II 




Y " 


ISC 


« 




What They Did for Jenkins 


H 




2 " 


25 c 


<• 




Aunt Jerusha's Quilting Party 


4 


12 


IX " 


25c 


« 




The District School at Blueberry 












Corners 


12 


17 


I « 


2SC 


<« 




The Emigrants' Party 


24 


10 


I " 


2SC 


<l 




Miss Prim's Kindergarten 


lO 


II 


lY " 


25c 


« 




A Pageant of History 


Any number 


2 « 


25c 


« 




The Revel of the Year 


« 


(( 


H " 


15c 


« 




Scenes in the Union Depot 


i< 


« 


I « 


250 


« 




Taking the Census in BingvlUe 


14 


8 


^Y " 


25c 


<l 




The Village Post-Office 


22 


20 


2 " 


25c 


M 




Women in War 




II 


Y " 


»Sc 


M 




BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place, Boston 


f Mass. 




\^^^^^^^f.^^^^^fL^^^f.^ 


^^r=^ 


W^'W^' 


'yir ■y^r 


■^■w-w 


.^^ ^^ ^^ 



-f 



V" 




015 897 229 3 



Plays for Colleges an JiJSi 

Mattt Fe 

The Air Spy 12 

Bachelor Hail 8 

The College Chap il 

The Colonel's Maid 6 

Daddy 

The Deacon's Second Wife 

The District Attorney 

The Dutch Detective 

An Easy Marie 

The Elopement of Elien 

Engaged by Wednesday 

The Farmerette 

For One Night Only 

Hamilton 

Higbee of Harvard 

Kitty's Service Flag 

The Hoodoo 

The Hurdy Ourdy Girl 

Katy Did 

Let's Get Married 

London Assurance 

Lost a Chaperon 

The Man from Brandon 

The Man Who Went 

The Man Without a Coumrjr 

Master Pierre Patella 

Me and Otis 

The Minute Man 

Mose 

Mr. Bob 

Mrs. Briggs of the Poultry Yard 

Nathan Haie 

Nephew or Uncle 

Professor Pepp 

A Regiment of Two 

The Revenge of Shari-Hot*Sa 

The Rivals 

The Romancers 

The Rose and the Ring 

Sally Lunn 

The School for Scandal 

She Stoops to Conquer 

Step Lively 

The Submarine Shell 

The Thirteenth Star 

The Time of His Life 

Tommy's Wife 

The Twig of Thorn 

For " special " royalties, see catalogue descriptions for 
detailed information. 

BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass. 



4 


4 


iK 


u 


25c 


- 


6 


6 


2yz 


« 


25c 


M 


so 


6 


2 


« 


25c 


M 


5 


5 


2 


M 


25c 


M 


5 


2 


K 


M 


ISC 


M 


4 


3 


2 


M 


25c 


M 


5 


II 


^H 


« 


25c 


« 




7 


2 


« 


25c 


« 


5 


4 


2 


M 


»5c 


<4 


11 


5 


2 


<« 


50c 


Special 


5 


4 


2 


« 


15c 


Free 




II 


iK 


<l 


25c 


« 


6 


12 


2 


<« 


25c 


<« 


9 


9 


2 


<l 


25c 


« 


4 


8 


^H 


<i 


25c 


« 


3 


5 


2 


« 


50c 


Special 


10 


3 


2 


« 


15c 


Free 


6 


9 


2 


« 


25c 


« 


3 


4 


>^ 


« 


»5c 


<c 


7 


3 


2^ 


« 


25c 


Special 


46 


5 


l/^ 


« 


25c 


Free 


4 


I 


. I>^ 


<t 


50c 


« 


5 


4 


2 


« 


15c 


" 




13 


'>^ 


<4 


25c 


" 


II 


10 


'/2 


« 


15c 


« 


3 


4 


^'A 


i< 


15c 


<i 


4 


7 


2 


« 


25c 


<i 


15 


4 


2;^ 


« 


50c 


^10.00 


8 


3 


2 


« 


25c 


Free 


8 


8 


^'A 


<l 


25c 


" 


6 


4 


2 


« 


25c 


« 


3 


4 


^A 


« 


15c 


« 


9 


5 


^)i 


« 


•5c 


« 


3 


I 


2 


<i 


25c 


(( 


16 


5 


ly. 


« 


25c 


<i 


3 


4 


'^ 


" 


25c 


« 


12 


4 


2A 


« 


15c 


« 


>5 


4 


2A 


« 


15c 


« 


4 


10 


2 


<1 


25c 


M 


7 


4 


2 


" 


25 c 


Special 




9 


^A 


" 


25 c 


Free 


6 


3 


2A 


" 


25c 


<i 


3 


5 


^A 


" 


25c 


<• 


6 


7 


^A 


" 


60c 


M 



&- 



